The Teletubbies(Michael Bay)
by Jaxer
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a guy named Powhen Stonedoor, but everyone just called him Po. One day, his whole life changed, when he got requested to join the local mafia, Teletubbies... This is what I think about if Teletubbies would have been directed by Michael Bay.
1. The Package

Once, in a motherfucking peaceful town in Wyoming, US, called Elbuckor, where nothing was unusual, there was a terraced house where lived a man named Powhen Stonedoor, but eveyone just called him Po. He was a normal, white-skinned 21 years old young man.  
But one day, his whole life changed, when he got a package from a group called called Teletubbies. "Why those "Teletubbies" want to send a package for me?" Po said to himself, still confused. He opened the package, and he saw a tablet there, but not a normal tablet. Po opened the tablet's back cover, but there was a metal plate with a big text: NO FUCKING WAY, covering the parts. Po thought that was very rude, but he knew he couldn't judge people who he hasn't met.  
He booted the tablet on, and he saw a video with a man saying: "Hello, Mr. Stonedoor. My name is Tinkeron Wincarol, but everyone just calls me Tinky-Winky, and I am the leader of the local mafia, the Teletubbies. I want you to meet us at our headquarters. This package also included a letter that tells how to find us. This message will destroy now."

"What the..." Po said quickly.

BOOM!

The tablet exploded, and it left a black mark on Po's table. He then checked the letter that was included in the package. It had a text with fantasy-like font that read: Over the hills and far away...


	2. The Request

Po was very confused. He didn't know where to go, or where to start. "What hills? Far away from where?" Po said to himself very confused. There were many questions without aswers in Po's mind, but biggest of them all was: What did the Teletubbies want from Po?

It was already evening. He went to a little walk to calm down his mind, but then he realized. "The Tublor Hills!" Po finally realized. What would be better place for the the TeleTUBbies than TUBlor hills. He went to the Tublor Hills, and there was the typical forest that was always there. People had said that no one would come there back alive. Po went inside the forest. Then Po turned his flashlight on.

"OH WHAT THE FUCK!" Po screamed. What he saw was a corpse of a human body, with a dagger stabbed into its back. Then Po realized that he had to be very careful, or the Teletubbies would mistake him to an intruder.

He walked very carefully trough the forest, saw more corpses, avoided death traps, and so on.

Then, he finally saw the Teletubbies' hideout. It was a hut-like building built completely inside a hill. It had couple windows made out of glass stained in different colors. Next to it was a giant wind turbine, but even though there was windy, the propeller didn't spin.

Then Po walked closer to the building. When he was in front of the headquarters' door, he saw a tiny screen with text: INSERT PASSWORD. He typed in there with a tiny keyboard: OVERTHEHILLSANDFARAWAY, and it opened.

When the door opened, Po saw a man wearing a purple suit, and holding a cigar in his right hand.

"Mr. Wincarol, I presume", Po said to the man he reconized from the video telling where he must go.

"Please just call me Tinky-Winky, Mr. Stonedoor" Mr. Wincarol answered.

"How do you know my name?" Po asked from Tinky-Winky.

"That's exactly why we invited you here" Tinky-Winky answered.

""We" invited you here?" Po asked very confused.

"Don't you know that running a mafia requires more than an one person? These are Lawrence Lanchberg and Dipper Blohcoe, or just simply Laa-Laa and Dipsy." Tinky-Winky said while pointing towards two men.

Dipsy was dark-skinned man with short black hair and a small moustache. Laa-Laa was white-skinned tall man with white long hair. "But now to the main point.

"We invited you here to join us." Tinky-Winky answered with a serious tone. "WHAT!? YOU WANT ME TO JOIN YOU!? HELL NO! I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BEING A CRIMINAL AND MY PARENTS WOULD CRY IF I DO THAT!" Po answered angrily. "Now tell me, what do you know about your parents?" Tinky-Winky asked Po.

Po was totally served. He knew nothing about his parents, he was an orphan. He didn't know his last name, so he asked one, called "Stonedoor" long time ago at the town hall. Po was silent for long time.

"That's right. Your father was a criminal who moved here from Italy, nicknamed "Baby Sun", who formed the Teletubbies, but later leaved the mafia, and formed a new one, the Baby Suns. The mafia did a lot of crimes, even more than we did, and everyone blamed us. Finally, we got them down, and no-one had heard about them since. Two days ago we found half of your father's papers from the old archive building's ruins (What's fire we didn't cause), and that unfortunately didn't have last name-part survived, and we saw that orphan named Powhen, current last name Stonedoor, was his son, so we invited you here straightly." Tinky-Winky told to Po, who finally realized what was happening. "So, Po. You wanna join us?" Laa-Laa asked.

"Sure." Po said.


	3. The Hideout

"So, I bet you want to see a little tour of our hideout, don't you?" Tinky-Winky asked Po. "Yes." Po answered to Tinky-Winky.

Then Po started following Tinky-Winky, who leaded him to a very big room. "This is the main hall, but we call it the halo." Tinky-Winky said to Po. The room had three different sections: One, where was a large sofa, a green grass-like mat and a large flatscreen TV. "All stolen from shops that didn't pay us enough, of course." Tinky-Winky explained to Po, who was confused where they had money for all of those things.

The second section was a laboratory, where the most noticeable thing was a modernish, pink and blue tap-like machine. Tinky-Winky got closer to it, put a titanium bowl under the tap, and turned the tap on. The machine started making loud noise, the machine's screen displayed text: Project Tubbycustard and the tap started running.

The bowl was soon filled with pinkish goo. Tinky-Winky dropped a piece of steel in there, and it completely molt there. "We use it for robbing banks, by using a robot drill to dig a tunnel under the bank and releasing it to the tunnel. It melts everything, exept titanium and dirt, but it's easy to suck in with a device you'll see soon, when we go to floor -1." Tinky-Winky said. The third section was a carage with a blue van, that Po knew was going to be their escape van in case if they get caught.

Then they headed to the elevator and in there, Tinky-Winky pressed the button that said 320. They soon were in a gigantic underground storage room filled with tanks made out of blue-stained glass. "This is our gadget storage. We keep the gadgets that we make here, but there is one that is used the most." He said as he pressed button 320 on a small control pad that was attached to a a one, bigger tank appoached them from a rail mechanism that was connected to the floor. When the tank was in front of them, there were smoke everywhere, and a trapdoor opened, revealing a blue, robotic feet coming from the smoke. Then the whole robot soon was able to see.

"This is our reason to be proud from our research: Project NooNOtron, or as we call it; Noo-Noo.


End file.
